A Romanian in the UK: My First Migration Experience as an Adult

         

    Around this time, 15 years ago, I was having an experience which changed my life, and which actually taught me about what it means to be immersed in another country's culture. Moving to the UK for studies was a turning point, and actually, my first migration experience as an adult. Well, as probably you know, my family and I did move to Italy for the first time when I was two years old, but this is something different. It was not my first time in the UK though, as a few years prior I first went there as part of a school programme, and stayed with a really nice family from Derby, with whom I am still in contact, and I returned there two or three times afterwards, until the big move. 

          Whereas Italy is my second home, and I got used to it with far bigger ease, the UK was an adult decision which belonged to me, with all its consequences. Was it going to be merely about discovery, or building a new life to last forever? At the beginning I didn't know: I left with the idea that it would be the second option, but in the end it turned out to be the first one. In fact, after graduation I returned to Romania, and since then I've only returned about twice, last time in 2008.

         Sooo, London calling! (Can you hear The Clash in the background? ;) ) I was going to study Media, and become a journalist, or a television professional, or anything related. For a while, so I did, but that's another story, and we'll talk about it another time. For the numerous people who fascinatedly ask me how it was, I will offer you a list of do's and don't's, and likes and dislikes, but keep in mind that everything listed here is subjective, as perceived through the eyes of a girl in her late teens to early 20s, from a very-very-very different cultural background. Perhaps some things have changed, or perhaps I would see them differently these days. 

... Big like: The friendliness and approachable nature of people. People of all ages would come to talk to you at any time, and in any place, even if they only make remarks about the weather (yes, it's not a myth). And yes, it often happens to be approached by a random guy in the street, in the bar or at the club, and be asked out, or asked for your number. Sometimes it's creepy (depends how pushy they are), and sometimes it's funny. But of course you don't have to accept if you don't want. Shop assistants, bartenders, bus drivers - they are very helpful, and the good old "please" and "thank you" are never missing. At university or at work, it is easy to socialize with your mates, and also with your neighbours. And before you ask: no, I haven't encountered discrimination towards foreigners, at least not on an individual level (with institutional level, it's something else, but we'll get there later). And they say the Brits are cold! As if! ;) What I also like about the people is their modesty and simplicity: they don't pretend to be something they're not, no hidden "dark sides", no hypocrisy or snobbery. "What you see is what you get". And I hope these traits have not changed.

... Do choose London if you want multiculturalism. London is full of a wide variety of cultures, not just British: you'll meet many people of Indian, African, Caribbean, Oriental backgrounds, from the former Commonwealth countries, but also the biggest concentration of more recent foreign immigrants. Most of them actually gravitate around specific city areas. In other words, you'll get the chance to get a glimpse of several cultures, you will make friends with people from all parts of the world, and eventually you'd find people you fit in with, learn about cultural differences, but also find shared values.

           

... Do choose London also if you want a city that never sleeps and an active social life. Apart from the famous tourist attractions which we all know, you can go partying in Leicester Square, shopping in Oxford Street, seeing your favourite bands live at Wembley Arena or a famous musical in the West End, or being a rocker in Camden Town, or being in the audience of a live TV show. I did them all, by the way. Are these your pint of beer... ehm... cup of tea? ;) Well, then London is definitely for you. On one condition: that you have all the energy you can possibly get, because resting is not really an option, and I often found myself saying "enough!" (but it was never really enough, as one thing leads to another, and then another, and then another...)

                  

... Don't choose London, however, if you need a more relaxed atmosphere, a more typically British setting, or closeness with nature. Instead do choose a smaller town, there are many charming ones to choose from. My favourites are Bournemouth (photo), Cambridge, Oxford, Derby, Brighton or York. The order is arbitrary and each of them has its particular good points. But in my opinion, such cities are more reflective of the real England, as opposed to cosmopolitan London.

... Big like: Community spirit and active citizenship. From this point of view, the Brits have a lot to teach Romanians. Even in a big city like London, communities are very well defined around city areas, as the city is very smartly divided into boroughs, each of them with its local council. Therefore, in your area you will have local institutions and local organizations which carry out a wide variety of activities: charity events, environmental activities, sporting events, socializing evenings, etc. Volunteering with them is a great opportunity to do something useful for the neigbourhood you live in, but also to make new friends. 

...  Big dislike: binge drinking, with all its consequences. Sometimes, it makes nice people turn nasty, and it makes attractive guys turn unattractive (at least for me). Plus, it removes people's responsibility for their actions: "Oops, did I call you a crazy b**ch last night? I'm sorry, I was drunk!", "Did I start telling people about your personal matters? Oops, sorry, I was drunk!" (true story). And for a non-drinker like myself, seeing people finding fun in that and almost forcing you to drink more and more and more, was a cultural shock, and I often felt like a "fish out of water". Some people didn't go this far, though, or at least knew their own limit, and I preferred to socialize with those. Let's call it "cultural uncompatibility". ;) To all those with this fabulous habit: please guys, take care of your health! Besides, you're all so much nicer when you're sober! ;)

... Like: the university system, with very well structured programmes. No filling up the timetable with useless subjects (apart from maybe one or two, or perhaps the curricula was wrong, not the idea), focused placed mostly on creativity and analytical thinking rather than a reproduction of theory, clear instructions on assigments, marks given fairly, generally efficient administrative services, and helpful staff. The relationship with teachers is informal, and you call them by their first name. Cool, ain't it? ;)

... Dislike: high prices, especially for houses / rents, and especially in London.

                   

... Like: mix of traditional and modern. For example, people with modern lifestyles and life values, combined with traditional settings, such as those charming houses in Victorian or Tudor style, with small rooms, classical furniture and separate taps for hot and cold water. 

... Like: Maintaining national identity is a good thing, and the Brits should pay extra attention, with all the cosmopolitan arrivals in their country, which they are constantly exposed to. I'm not asking them to be discriminating, but at least keep what makes them different. Even measurement units, clothes sizes and driving on the left side. 

                                                       

... Tricky: food. I say tricky because what is tasty is fattening: traditional cakes and desserts, pies, Cadbury chocolate, baked potatoes with various fillings, lots of rich sauces etc. Lots of international restaurants and take-aways. Food in canteens and even some pubs and caffetterias is not good, especially the so-called healthy dishes, therefore you turn to the tasty-yet-fattening stuff. Therefore, when I came back to Romania, I came with an unexpected baggage of 11 extra kilos, which I quickly got rid of once I was back home, getting back to my initial weight, and never saw those kilos again. :D My tip would be to try to eat at home as often as you can, but not heat-and-serve microwavable food, because that is high in calories too. Try preparing things by yourself instead. Also try to limit "pub food", fish and chips, or pastries. A little bit of moderation goes a long way. ;)  

... Dislike: Bureaucracy. The Brits don't generally have ID cards, using mainly passports, student cards and driving licenses for identification, and to demonstrate at the pub that they're over 18. :) However, for every registration somewhere, they require lots of irrelevant information. Plus, keep in mind that when I was living there, Romania was not part of the EU yet. And therefore, I had to suffer extra because of even more regulations and restrictions, not to mention higher university fees. We didn't have problems getting or extending the visa, but what came afterwards, as residents, often made me feel like being controlled, starting with a series of dumb questions at the airport passport control point. I also believe there is work discrimination, masked as "equal opportunities monitoring", and many British friends agree with me. When applying for a job, you have a section in the form, which asks about your nationality, race, religion, and even sexual orientation. I mean, really? I understand nationality, in order to figure out if you need a work permit or not, but the others... why should they care?? Does it have anything to do with professional skills? Ehm... no! I'd rather call it "reasons to discriminate form". 'Nuff said! :P 

... Big like: this one is for us, ladies, as a dessert, 'cause I'm sending you shopping. You know that no matter what country I'm in, I'm in favour of purchasing local brands. For clothes and shoes, I would advise you to go for New Look, Miss Selfridge, Oasis and Topshop. For cosmetics, The Body Shop and Boots are a must. Plus, there is a very nice shopping center in Kingston, on the outskirts of London. Try it, and salute the place on my behalf! ;) 

         So, that's the long and short of it, and I believe I've been exhaustive. As you see, it was an experience full of good and bad, like in every country, but an experience from which I really learned a lot. And looking in retrospective, it didn't do me any unrepairable damage. Do I miss England? Some things yes, others definitely not. I miss most of the friends I met there, and if they read this, I'm sending them a hug. Would I return to live there? I have no idea. I wouldn't mind taking a longer trip through various cities, just to refresh my memory on places, people and activities. I still find myself culturally different, but perhaps nowadays I'd be more prepared on what to expect, or I would look at things with a different perspective, that of a 30 year' old. As far as work is concerned, although in theory there is an abundance of opportunities, I'm afraid all work-related obstacles would be the same. But, who knows... ?